I have been trying to get serious on the slave ant issue, but have not succeeded very well. I absolutely refuse to believe Joan’s thesis that minority entomologists sometimes fail to become myrmecologists because they are offended by the term “slave-maker ants.” On the other hand, I could easily be seduced by the temptation to rehabilitate genera such as Polyergus by making them pirates. I like the idea that they no longer live in “colonies,” an outdated imperialist term, but rather in “pirate bands,” ruled, of course, by a romantic “pirate queen.” They do not construct “nests,” which have infantile connotations, but live in “pirate lairs” or “pirate strongholds.” No longer do they participate in vile and degenerate “slave raids,” but rather conduct heroic “homeland security missions” to “future national security threats” to obtain “recruits” who will become “willing partners in the alliance.” Everybody will want to have a band of these ants in their yard, and there will soon be an illicit trade in pirate queens. Children, inspired by Disney movies, will compete for the opportunity to do graduate work on pirate ants.

Mark Deyrup